Sabbath Devotional: Trading a Hard Heart for a Gentle One

A couple of months ago, a young mother in my ward spoke about having two sets of pet parakeets die. She carefully carried them outside for fresh air. But sadly, the little birds struggled to breathe and passed away in her hands.

I was deeply touched by her testimony and found myself feeling quite emotional. At first, I thought it was because I identified with this young mom. When my big boys were little, we had quite the menagerie of small animals in our home: snakes, reptiles, frogs, and a scorpion. At one point, we had seven beautiful little baby rabbits. They brought us so much joy. But sadly, one day, the rabbits started getting sick. Over the course of a week, each day, one or two more began showing symptoms. I held each rabbit as it passed, because I didn't want my children to have to do so, and I didn't want the rabbits to die alone. So, when this woman told the story of the parakeets and bore her testimony that God cared about those little animals, I wondered if my emotion was related to this experience.

But as I thought more about it, I realized that my tears for this mother’s story were a mixture of sadness and peace. I was sad for the loss of these little birds. I was also sad to remember my own experience with our baby rabbits. But it was the essence of her testimony that touched me the most — God cared for these little parakeets and cared about the young mother holding them.

I had just spent a very long week in Washington, DC, working 12-to-14-hour days on behalf of MWEG, and the month before had been filled with personal stories of people who were in pain, were suffering, and had lost jobs. And in the case of the loss of foreign aid, stories of women who were watching their life's work be stripped away, knowing that it would bring certain death, poverty, and hunger to the people they were devoted to helping. It brought me some much-needed peace to remember that God certainly cares about those experiencing a sudden loss of the food and medicine needed to keep them fed and healthy.

Since I work in politics full-time, these past few months, my work hours have creeped upwards, and the intensity of my daily tasks has multiplied. It requires a certain “stiffness of spine” to take in and respond to the negativity that comes my way each and every day. When I am consumed by work, it is easy to become hardened, to see people differently, and to give in to disdain and even resentment. But in the moments when I allow myself to really ask God what He would have me do and to spend time quietly listening, I have a vision of what is required most of me and that is softness. So, I have to work extra hard to figure out ways to be gentle and generous when everything seems to be designed to push me in a different direction.

I want to look directly and unflinchingly at the hatred, sorrow, greed, and even the evil in the world, and then I want to look beyond it at all the good. I want to utilize my gifts, experiences, and resources to do what I can to make systemic change, but I want to do it in a way that keeps my soul soft and full of generosity. For when I allow my heart to harden and my feelings towards others to turn callous, that is when I become ineffective and weak.

Despite the constant onslaught of the news and the knowledge I have of those that are suffering, more often than not, I feel a genuine hope. I see goodness in the eyes of our MWEG team as we meet together every day trying to come up with innovative solutions to help your voices be heard, to get you the information that you need to make wise decisions, and to advocate to the best of your ability. I see hope in the eyes of the congressional staffers who are truly trying to do their best to work within a complex and often demoralizing system. I see hope in the softening of my own heart and the quiet moments of contemplation when I sit with my sorrow, and my anger, and my frustration, and ask God to turn it into something gentle, something loving, something that can make peace.

D&C 97: 8 - “Verily I say unto you, all among them who know their hearts are honest, and are broken, and their spirits contrite, and are willing to observe their covenants by sacrifice — yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command — they are accepted of me.”

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Pictured: a few of the bunnies crowding around their mama after she hopped onto the platform to try and escape. I used to tell her that I knew how she felt and then take her out for some alone time! Happy Mother's Day!

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Emma Petty Addams is co-executive director at Mormon Women for Ethical Government.