Sabbath Devotional: Who are We Without Each Other?

Last Sunday, I was teaching Relief Society when we read Helaman 5:12. I asked if anyone had an example of what it looked like to have such a strong foundation in Christ that the hail and mighty winds–shafts in the whirlwind even! — were powerless to drag them down.

I wasn’t prepared for the story that followed.

A sister in her 70s raised her hand and shared that she bought a DNA kit last year to learn more about her ancestry. (You might guess where this is going.) She learned that the man who raised her was not her biological father. She bought a second kit from a different company, but those results only corroborated the first. Her parents, both biological and otherwise, had already passed on. She felt completely unmoored, stripped of her decades-long identity, and left with ever-multiplying questions. Her identity as a child of Heavenly Parents was all she could hold onto as she searched for answers.

Nothing in her life had changed materially after reading those results. She lived in the same house with the same memories she had made throughout her life. But also, everything changed. Have you ever had an experience like this? Where you felt betrayed, abandoned, or left wondering who you really are? As much as we want to be individuals, our identities (how we see ourselves and our role in the world) are inherently relational. Disrupting a close relationship can disrupt how we define ourselves. And in so many ways, it’s felt like we’ve been living in a decade of disruption!

Centuries ago, Naomi experienced a similar unraveling. She “went away full” of promise to a new land with her husband and her young sons, but then her husband passed and her sons did also, much too soon. She felt “the Lord [had] brought [her] back empty.” Who was she now that she lost so much of what defined her?

Thankfully, Ruth was there to remind her.

I remember resenting Ruth when I first heard her story. Why would she leave her home to follow Naomi to a strange land? How could she leave behind her own people? But I’ve come to admire her courage and loyalty and faith. She was experiencing her own loss. But Ruth showed us that identity is not just something we inherit; it’s something we create. She didn’t abandon who she was— she is repeatedly remembered as "Ruth the Moabitess" — and she chose to expand her identity: "Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God."

That’s one reason I believe Pres. Nelson placed so much emphasis on remembering that we are children of God. Seeing one another in this divine light is an immediate equalizer and connector. When our identity is in flux, and we’re not sure how we fit anymore, we can reach out to our Heavenly Parents and to each other to remember who we are. It’s no coincidence that almost every classic painting of Naomi and Ruth depicts them holding tightly to one another amid their shared grief. Who are we without each other?

Christ taught that “he that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” These earth-shifting, identity-shaking moments are integral to losing and, ultimately, finding ourselves. So, if you are feeling unmoored these days, don’t be afraid of the search, and hold tight to what (and who!) you hold dear. That’s a foundation worth building on.

. . . . . . . .

Art: Ruth and Naomi, by Kelli Latimore

---

Lisa Salazar Tingey is the principled citizen program director at Mormon Women for Ethical Government.